how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
