Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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