did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
