Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
