East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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