Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
