no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
