i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
