Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
