She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize