I faked an abortion last night.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
