if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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