i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
