non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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