Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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