this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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