The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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