Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just puked most of my soul out..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
