Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
