i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
