Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
