apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
