Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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