The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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