So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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