I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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