I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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