I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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