Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
