just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
