its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
