Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would fuck him just for his dog