So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???