Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
25 People Didnâ€™t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers