Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just pee around me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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