Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
