ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
