About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
