i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
