You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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