Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
