Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
