On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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