I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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