I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize