Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
