Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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