Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize