What a fucking waste of an outfit
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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