ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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