He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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