We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
