Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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