Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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