; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize