I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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