woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize