we have pet lesbian snakes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
His hands were made for my vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
