i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
