Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
