I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
