last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
