I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
